2140h; welcome home.

parents are staying over tonight. bro stayed over last night and will continue to do so. sis and i will move in tmr night. slowly slowly, this place is becoming a home. hopefully a more permanent one…

i can’t wait to move in. tonight will probably be my last night at cheryl’s place. haha so goodbye sunrise, forest and unblocked scenery. hello matte parquet, mosaic, aircon and so on..

i’m so happy we’re finally settling.

also.

i’m less stressed out now since some time has passed since the evening when i was dumped a whole lot of things to pick up at work when one meeting with one objective turned into many.

on a lighter note, happy valentines’ day yall. ❤

spending my valentines’ this year with kiernz again hahaha we had really good steak at five senses. & last night celebrated dr z birthday, it was amazing although i came to work slightly hungover.

 

xx

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2140h; welcome home.

0957h; happy lunar new year

i start work tomorrow… a part of me is screaming NOOOO & a smaller part is thinking, yes finally money. i’m trying to grow that part.

i’m gonna be a responsible adult, “(time to) contribut(e) to the economy & household” as my sis puts it.. my freedom is being sapped away and that’s the scariest thing about starting a full-time job. i don’t think i’m the type of person who works a corporate job in the cbd. i feel like i’m more work from home, remote work, projects based, OTOT where my freedom and expressions are less compromised. i don’t know, i might be getting the jitters. the jitter talk. you know, wedding jitters? hahaha

oh man, i really hope i’ll love this job. it’s my first legit one. i keep telling myself, everybody’s gotta start somewhere. one day, i hope to be able to work remotely from anywhere/from home yet still raking in a good lump sum.

haha let’s also hope that i don’t age a ton with this job. i see some of my friends enter the workforce and suddenly seem alot older, their skin just look a little less alive? sigh.

i miss the student life. T just went to Europe for her Masters. she’s gonna have a ton of fun, i just know it.

anyway, happy chu er everybody

so shag yesterday; later gonna go shuwen’s and huiwen’s house.

enjoy my last day of legit freedom. tbh, the past 2.5 weeks since i signed the contract has been the most relaxing time of my life. not having to worry about anything. but now, it’s time to be an adult. sooo see ya on the other side.

 

xx

0957h; happy lunar new year

1526h; 2019, hey- what’s up.

it’s january 30. yes, i know, i know. i’m a month late to the game. i wanted to take it slow – you really did this time, talia – and really think about what i want in my life, what i want to achieve in 2019 and what i can improve on from 2018.

i honestly can’t believe it’s 2019 and that i’ll be hitting mid-twenties soon … not that i’m afraid or dreading getting older (okay maybe a little). i’m mostly excited about how i can be a better person, how can i earn money, how i can allow my parents and myself to live comfortably, how i can grow deeper in his grace, grow wiser all that stuff.

but first, let’s take a recap to my 2018 resolutions & see whether i’ve made any difference hahaha –> 0931h; the 58th day of 2018. (hey, i actually did pretty good this year at the 30th day of 2019 XD)

whatsapp image 2019-01-13 at 16.32.37I even wrote it down on a brown paper which got rather vintage looking as a reminder to myself… it was a good run, 2018. i felt like i was doing my best at keeping to my goals. in 2018, i chose who i wanted to stay in my life – reconnecting with the old, maintaining the currents, making new ones and removing the toxic from my life #keepsakefriends . i’m so happy and satisfied with the people i surround myself with now.

my second bullet point on food wastage… hm. i remember i did try to finish my food / order less but i think i pretty much gave up towards the end of the year? not that i threw a lot of it away but i made sure i had someone who could eat it for me. that’s my dad and it’s good enough.  haha

i invested in myself alot in 2018. i refrained from shopping for makeup, invested in skincare and clothes that i know will carry me through the seasons. i did well here, considering how much i love fashion and its variety… this year, i’m taking it higher.

2017 was my rabak as heck year. it was crazy – drinking, smoking, partying with a component of fitness. 2018 was the year i decided to detoxify. I was the go-to drinking buddy and it was tough to decline especially when you’re already at the table and when your friends are heartbroken and turn to you for a drinking session but you know you gotta say no- for both your sakes. eventually, they stopped asking as much; it gets a little less suffocating and i started prioritizing my health and fitness again in the latter half of 2018 when i started my internship with cool-ass fashionistas and health gurus of bosses.  i was going for zumba and yoga on thursday and fridays respectively with my mum. the other days, i was going to the gym. i rested on weekends. i had more sleep in 2018 because i made sleep a priority. i made my health a priority and i believe i will continue to make it so in 2019. call me a granny or whatever; it’s what is good for me. i mean, it’s not like i can’t stay up till 7 in the morning… i can, i just take longer to recover hahahaah

anddd lastly, getting a job. i didn’t do it in 2018 because i went for an internship instead and a part time after. i didn’t want to rush into anything. it’s my life, it’s my timeline, it’s my pace. so yeah. i enjoyed my internship, loved everything about it, learnt so much about myself through it… andddd of course there were times i felt like i was not worthy enough to be picked cos i was sending alot alot of applications but none of them wanted me/already filled up.. and then came a call from an ex-schoolmate of mine, K. he basically told me i applied for the wrong job but he has other positions available for me and so, i told him to go ahead with that position. everything happened pretty fast from the third week of dec to mid january. i accepted the offer after a very long and stressful weekend and two days since the offer was made.. i prayed hard, asked for signs – is it the right one? should i go forth? – and i guess it was blatantly clear when i sought the advice of someone from an industry i want to be in but he told me to go for the offer instead and of cos that interview which got back to me with a response within the night. so, thank YOU. (: so yep. 2019, i have a job!

2018 was such a wonderful year of growth. i’m so glad i became my own and started caring less of what others thought of me. compared less, believed in myself more. ventured more into my photography with Xavier (Olympus XA), learnt how to Python (i’m very happy very very happy that i achieved this, can’t wait to learn more about it!), learnt how to skateboard (& fell & so kinda stopped skating but gonna start again hahaha), got back my rollerblades, went for yoga classes, went for ZUMBA classes with mom – yes i did, transform my energy into frantic aerobics moves and learn a dancestep or two hehe. and then came my beloved grandma. i still miss her very much and it comes and goes. but through it, while i am still very sad and i still wish for her for my birthday this year; she’s in a better place and i’ll be reunited with her one day again. soo.. i shouldn’t be sad about it anymore

now… what do i expect from 2019?

  1. Growing with God
  2. #keepsakefriends
  3. reduce my footprint & invest in myself – food, clothes, makeup
  4. 3 pullups by the end of 2019; 2 by august
  5. gain weight thru muscle mass if possible?? if not just maintain, don’t be guilty about it – lol was having reverse eating disorder at the end of 2018.
  6. excel at my job; hit the KPI i set for myself and more.
  7. be tidier. stop hoarding things talia!! what do i do if everything sparks joy in me!?

again, i’ll add more when i remember.

BuyerarchyOfNeeds.jpg

oh yes, and i’ll try to follow this as much as possible. i mean i thrift and buy secondhand but i’m also a consumer of firsthand items e.g. today i bought some pants for my corporate life. but the thing was, i needed those pants cos i didn’t have any that fit the corporate life neither could i fit comfortably into my mom/sis pants. yeah but i have a list of office wear things to have and all i was missing was some comfy corporate pants which i purchased from uniqlo earlier today after my mum’s appointment. nonetheless, so far so good.. with chinese new year coming up, i borrowed my aunt’s cheongsam cos i was felling a little festive this year (piggies unite!) and for my birthday, i guess i’ll be a little more creative with what i already have which may or may not have been worn yet.

it’s been a lovely writing session – not really actually, my parents are being walking up and down. i feel, self-conscious. hahaha

till next time,

xx

 

 

 

1526h; 2019, hey- what’s up.

1545; bus rides & my inner soliloquy

it was on the bus again. on the bus ride home from interview. on the bus ride in this thunderstorm. on the bus ride. the bus is my witness. to all the downs of my life. the bus.

it’s been a while since i caught up with myself.

i went for an interview today and it went okay. it was nice because though the questions posed were the normal, the lady was exceptionally nice. afew of the questions she asked were:

  1. what is your motivation, what drives you
  2. what do you do in your free time
  3. it’s coming year end, have you reached your new year resolutions?

i thought i jot this down here so you guys will also have a think on them.. i think it’s essential and good for us humans to be reflective and i haven’t been in a good head space for a some time. i haven’t been able to check myself and my progress. even now, i don’t think i am. so i’ll come back to it another time.. hopefully not too late…

 

xx

1545; bus rides & my inner soliloquy

2344h; december without u

warped. i feel like i stepped out of a different time zone. my kombucha tracks my days and it made me realize how the past few days transitioned so seamlessly. feels like we ran parallel with the clock. sigh, i am so truly exhausted i hope my mum gets her sleep in today too… but tbh she hasnt had any proper time alone for herself. and she had to put up a front for the past few days. sigh. ):

2344h; december without u

2154h;

28 nov 18

dear mama sally lee peck suan idk when i’ll finish writingthis entry because idk when i’ll be ok. mama why did u go so soon i wasn’t ready. everyone wasn’t ready mama u were perfectly fine i was to follow u for a checkup on 7 dec. i was planning on staying over these couple of days and then go check w u. we were supposed to see xmas lights this year like how we usually would. but mama… the last time i saw u i was fortunate enuf to see u so playful and normal on monday night. why didn’t you let us know… mama i miss you so much. on sunday when i saw u at church, u know the usual sunday routine.. u were so happy so joyful it’s like u knew. u were singing a little louder, bouncing a little more.i shouldve hugged u tighter… i should have hugged u on monday night rather than turn my back and wave bye…. i shd have turned aroundto see u lie back on your bed… but i didn’t. U left ina hurry so jovially with your friends who were gonna take u out.. i was happy u were happy u were rushing off like that to have some fun. I just wish i knew mama… i love you so much i know you know it too even tho the way i express my love can be very different and hard to grasp for some people. I can’t believe you’re gone… u haven’t see me get my first job… we haven’t gone on a meal tgt where i’d be paying full… or a short getaway… mama why… i hugged u and i didnt want to leave u i could stand by u forever n not get tired i dont want to let you go.. stupid mama i cant say these words anymore… or point a finger at u to get a reaction… or shout ur name in the background while my mum talks to u every evening… or play with u while we’re seated in church or when we go out. mama i miss u already.

2154h;