1914h; if it’s that easy.

Say you love me to my face
I need it more than your embrace
Just say you want me, that’s all it takes
Heart’s getting torn from your mistakes
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If you don’t wanna try,
But all that I’ve been thinking of
Is maybe that you’re mine
Baby it looks as though we’re running out of words to say
And love’s floating away
Just say you love me, just for today
And don’t give me time ’cause that’s not the same
Want to feel burning flames when you say my name
Want to feel passion flow into my bones
Like blood through my veins
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If you don’t wanna try,
But all that I’ve been thinking of
Is maybe that you’re mine
Baby it looks as though we’re running out of words to say
And love’s floating away
Won’t you stay?!
Won’t you stay?!
Slowly, slowly you run for me,
But do you know me at all
Some one told me love controls everything
But only if you know!
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
(No no no no)
If you don’t wanna try,
‘Cause all that I’ve been thinking of
Is maybe that you’re mine
(You’re mine)
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If you don’t wanna try,
But all that I’ve been thinking of
Is maybe that you’re mine
Baby it looks as though we’re running out of words to say
And love’s floating away
Won’t you stay
Won’t you stay
and love’s floating away.
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1914h; if it’s that easy.

2344h; i see u.

If you ask me, “what goals do you have in life?”

My obvious answer would be pragmatic. Since i studied Geography, it would make sense to go into the environment industry. I’m not saying i have no interests for it, but it would just be, practical and logical.

But an intimate answer would be less so. I would like a job that satisfies me. Pays for my bills, funds my travels; something that i like. It might seem aimless and goalless for many. Because telling someone “searching for anything that interests me/i like to pursue” definitely isn’t gonna make the cut since it’s not specific enough. They will be like, “but what do you reaaallly want” And i guess if they aren’t satisfied with my answer, they’ll label me “she don’t know what she wants to achieve“. Of course i want an end to this gun era, freedom to love & express, a shift towards bringing climate change to a minimum, protecting our oceans etc. What i want runs deeper than normal desires. My priorities are definitely different. At this point, i just want something that i can be satisfied with and enough for me to make a change in the world and for myself.

So, what job am i applying for? Anything and everything that catches my eye.

xx

2344h; i see u.

1957h; Help.

when you just want to shut down and get away,

away from everything & everybody.

I woke up this morning with the sickest headache. It was throbbing as I did my daily morning routine before I decided that I can’t go to school in this condition when I’m feeling my entire head being compressed, an upset stomach and the need to puke. I haven’t been sleeping well the past few days, what’s new? Waking up way too early and just not giving myself enough rest is taking a toll on my mental well-being. I was fine yesterday and I even worked the entire day. But today, I just can’t seem to leave the house. So i stayed home, went through my lessons for today and slept the afternoon away. I still woke up with a headache so I thought maybe, I need to bathe. I went on ahead and now, at 2000h, it’s still there. Someone help me.

 

xx

1957h; Help.

0931h; the 58th day of 2018.

It’s the 58th day and I realize I haven’t posted a new year resolution post! (I keep it all in my head.) So here it is …

  1. #keepsakefriends
  2. Don’t waste food
  3. Don’t shop for clothes/makeup unless necessary: event (graduation), when my own makeup runs out.
  4. Start prioritizing my health & progression > fitness. Start small, go slow. Don’t introduce toxins to your body.
  5. Get a job. hahhaha

I’ll add more to the list once I remember them.

On another note, February is coming to an end!! (Happy Chinese New Year) Tomorrow is the 28th. My February flies by like no other because…

Happy birthday to me. I am 23. And it was a birthday well spent.

I’m abit bummed wordpress don’t let me post my DSCO videos anymore. 

 

xx

0931h; the 58th day of 2018.

1727h; goodbye boracay.

2 days ago, i tried yellow watermelon for breakfast for the first time. It was really sweet; sweeter than the reds. And i tried the red again and i realized, it doesn’t taste as bad as 5 years ago when i was 18 and had to do a dare with my friend who hated pineapples but had to eat it and me who hated watermelon and had to eat it. I concluded that watermelon or melons in general, are an acquired taste.

Today, while on flight from Boracay to Singapore, i decided to finish my watermelon in my food tray that the airline always serves (you know, with watermelon & peaches). And i finished it; even had my brother’s fruits cos he couldn’t finish.

At the start of last year, i couldn’t stand the taste and texture of soft eggs & raw salmon. Now, i’m eating 3/4 molten eggs and half seared salmon (only in Japan).

So proud of myself for trying (new) things and realizing it isn’t as bad as what my mind conjured up. Guess i’m growing up huh 😂

1727h; goodbye boracay.

2048h; home alone

what it feels like to be alone at home for the first time in months? or for the first time since craving my own space since i came back …

empty. weird. it’s too damn quiet around here.

sure ya i really like the peace but 1 person in this house? can it get any lonelier? this house suddenly feels too big for me. it most probably is. i’m literally only switching on marcus’ room light and the light outside. okay i gotta switch off my room light to save electricity. but ya. it’s too big

next time, i wanna live in an open loft. i don’t think i’ll need a legit stove. just something i can boil water on and maybe steam. dont need the fancy schmancy stuff. an island, a bed on the floor. wooden furniture. a fan. a vinyl. a fridge. aircon for those times i really need it. pretty curtains. pretty tableware. one wall of clothes. a work desk, a toilet. yep. simple. that’s all i need.

anyway, family has landed in boracay in the early evening. they said a typhoon will reach Philippines the same time i reach there. so whoop, exciting times. i know im pretty bummed i missed the black storm day in hk cos i went home one day earlier.

okay, now back to work … gotta print my briefing notes, research on stuff. yep. oh and im probably not going for thai makeup classes for one week hahaha ded. had listening thai 1 today … seriously why do they have to choose such similar names manoot and manoop? what the.

work work work,

 

xx.

2048h; home alone