1848h

I did my second dive today. It was so fun and there wasn’t as much to be afraid of than the first dive. Somehow, during the first dive I was super scared and anxious. (Of death by drowning, you could say.) There were a couple of hiccups and things I had to get used to like, the cold, the water in mask. Underwent a mask switch underwater too right after I learnt how to empty the water inside my mask. I tried to do the buoyancy properly but I can’t really. I don’t know why my legs keep sinking down. Like, how do I get them afloat?? Amick helped me with that towards the end – he basically, held my legs up as we went over huge corals. But I saw starfish (amazing, good job Talia). Then Amick told me to hold the pillar of barnacles. In my head, i was like, no way i’m not gonna hold onto that shit which scratched me while i snorkeled the other day. No way. So, I basically held on a tiny bit HAHA. Then the boat came and i saw him and Ahmed!! Heh I really like Ahmed (: after the dive, I went swimming with Tessa while Zahra bathed (a lot of people here don’t understand the term ‘bathe’). And here I am now, chilling on a hammock. So sleepy, I wanna sleep. But it’s time for dinner. Ttfn. 

1848h

1058h; breaking down walls

last night, i laid in bed with my mind constantly whirring. it was keeping me awake – my fear was keeping me awake, reluctant to fall asleep. this june-july, i’ll be facing my deep phobia and a huge part of me wants to back out from this but a tiny little voice has kept me going, you won’t know what lies beyond these walls; what if you love it so deeply, wouldn’t you have regretted not trying? the same thoughts and feelings kept me in conflict. i’ve never felt such a tremendous fear and disinclination before but since everything else has been booked and settled, there’s no more time for me to sit here and whine about it.  i  just  gotta  go .  find out if what lies beyond is meant for me and what’s holding me back is nothing but my irrationality.

 

xx

 

 

1058h; breaking down walls