74/__ late night conversations

I received it. Your love. Your care. Your concern. The times you’ve been attentive to these minute little details. 

Just to let you know, i’ve stopped blow drying my bed – maybe only when the night turns cold. But it hardly does anymore. This morning, I woke up feeling really warm and nice, i didn’t want to leave the bed. But i had to, for my interview. It didn’t go that well, but i’ll hope for the best anyway.
Most of the times, i find myself lost. I see my friends around me having their lives sorted out yet here i am, struggling, trying to figure it out and end up taking a longer way. Maybe i’m meant to take the long way my entire life. I wonder if i’ll reach a point of exhaustion that i wouldn’t want to try anymore. 

At 1am, i’ve been told that i’m someone who’s emotionally disconnected; there’s a barrier i put up and it’s difficult for people to get close. For me, it’s easy to shut them out. If i don’t want to talk about it, i don’t want to. Unless my heart reserved a special place for you. So, I don’t disagree with them. It’s tough to be close to someone and not know whether they’d be scared off and run away. Maybe I’m the one who’s inspired and you’re in the position of admiration. 

I prioritise my passion over anything else and i don’t know why. Why i am so idealistic and optimistic even if it helps me, it won’t pay me. 

I wish i could love someone like a normal person would. But i guess, i just don’t function that way. Thank you for being in my life. 

love you

xx


3:12AM

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74/__ late night conversations

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