Read an amazing and relatable book by Don Miguel Ruiz on The Four Agreements in life. It makes so much sense and I’m glad someone managed to put such similar fleeting and jumbled thoughts thoughts of mind and organise it into a good read. Below is the gist of what I read, taken from the book & for me to read them and remind myself to practice them whenever I get the chance to.
1. be impeccable with your word – speak with integrity & say only what you mean. avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
the word is not just a sound or a written symbol, it is a force, the power you have to express and communicate, to think and thereby to create the events in your life. being impeccable with your word is not using the word against yourself, it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself. we use the word to spread our personal poison – to express aner, jealousy, envy and hate. we plan revenge and create chaos with the word. to create hate between races, people, families, nations. this misuse of the word is how we pull each other down and keep each other in a state of fear and doubt.
gossip is black magic at its very worst because it is pure poison. we learned how to gossip by agreement. emotional posison was transferred along with the opinions and we learned this as the normal way to communicate. gossiping has become the main form of communication in human society. it has become the way we feel close to each other because it makes us feel better to see someone else feel as badly as we do.
impeccability of the word will clean out any emotional poison form our mind and from our communication in our personal relationships. it will also give you immunity from anyone putting a negative spell on you. when you become impeccable with your word, your mind is no longer a fertile ground for words that come from black magic. rather, it becomes a fertile ground for love. how much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. when you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace.
2. don’t take anything personally – nothing others say/do is becccause of you
what causes you to be trapped is “personal importance”. personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me”. during the period of our education, or our domestication, we learn to take everything personally, we think we are responsible for everything.
nothing other people do is because of you. it is because of themselves. everyone lives in their own dream, their own world. when we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. what they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds.
if you live without fear, if you love, there is no place for any negative emotions. if you feel feel them, it is logical that you will feel good and when you do, everything around you is good. everything then makes you happy. you are loving everything because you are loving yourself. because you like the way you are and are content.
whatever people do, feel, think or say, don’t take it personally. if they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. you know you are wonderful. it is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful. even the opinions you have of yourself are not necessarily true, therefore you don’t need to take them personally.
don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally, you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. humans agree to help each other suffer. wherever you go, you will find people lying to you and you to yourself. do not expect people to tell oyu the truth because they also lie to themselves. when we really we other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. they are lying to you because they are afraid. they are afraid you will discover that they are not perfect. it is painful to take that social mask off. telling yourself the truth may hurt but you don’t need to be attached to the pain. healing is on the way and it’s just a matter of time before things will be better for you.
as you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. you will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. you are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. when you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
3. don’t make assumptions – communicate clearly
assumptions set us up for suffering. the big mitote in the human mind creates a lot of chaos which causes us to misinterpret everything & misunderstand everything. we only see what we want to see, and hear what we want to hear. we don’t perceive things the way they are. we have the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality. we literally dream things up in our imaginations. when the truth comes out, the bubble of our dreams pops and we find out it was not what we thought it was at all.
we make the asumption that everyone sees life the way we do. we assu,e that others thinkt he way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. this is the biggest assumption that humans make. and this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. so even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. that is the way the human mind works.
we don’t need to justify love; it is there or not there. real love is accepting other peopel the way they are without trying to change them. if we try to change them, this means we don’t really like them. find somene whom you don’t have to change at all. it is much easier to find someone who is already the way you want him or her to be, instead of trying to change that person. also, that person mut love you just the way you are, so he or she doesnt have to change you at all. by doing so, we are not presenting a false image. if you love me the way i am, “okay, take me.” if you don’t love me the way i am, “okay, bye-bye. find someone else.” this kind of communication means the personal agreements we make with others are clear and impeccable.
the way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. if you don’t understand, have the courage to ask until you’re crystal clear. also, find your voice to ask for what you want. the day you stop making assumptions you will communicate cleanly and clearly, free of emotional poison.
4. always do your best & you will avoid self judgement, self-abuse & regret
keep in mind that your best is going to change from one moment to the next since everything is alive and changing all the time. whether you’re energised and refreshed in the morning, tired at night, healthy/sick, sober/drunk, feeling wonderful & happy/upset/angry/jealous, the quality of your best will change. but keep doing your best – no more and no less than your best. if you over do it, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take you longer to accomplish your goal. but if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgement, guilt & regrets.
doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. you are going to be productive, you are going to be good to yourself, because you will be giving yourself to your family, to your community, to everything. but it is the action that is going to make you feel intensely happy. when you always do your best, you take action because you love it, not because you’re expecting a reward. in return, you will find that you enjoy every action you do. rewards will come, but you are not attached to the reward. you can even get more than you would have imagined for yourself without expecting a reward. if we like what we do, if we always do our best, then we are really enjoying life. we are having fun, we don’t get bored, we don’t have frustrations.
when you do your best, you don’t give the Judge the opportunity to find you guilty or to blame you. there are no regrets. that is why we always do our best. it is not an easy agreement to keep but this agreement is really going to set you free.
when you do your best you learn to accept yourself. but you have to be aware and learn from your mistakes. if you take action because you have to do it, then there is no way you are going to do your best. then it is better not to do it. no, you do your best because doing your best all the time makes you so happy. when you are doing your best just for the pleasure of doing it, you are taking action because you enjoy the action.
action is about living fully; inaction is denying life. expressing what you are is taking action. you can have many great ideas in your head but what makes the difference is the action. without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results and no reward. taking action is being alive. it’s taking the risk to go out and express your dream. it can be as simple as taking a shower with the action that i tell how much i love and enjoy the feel of water on my body etc.
whatever life takes away from you, let it go. when you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now. not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. this leads to self-pity, suffering and tears.
you were born with the right to be happy. you were born with the right to love, to enjoy & to share your love. you are alive, so take your life & enjoy it. don’t resist life passing through you (because that is God passing through you). just your existence proves the existence of God, the existence of life and energy.
say no when you want to say no and say yes when you want to say yes. you have the right to be you. you can only be you when you do your best. you don’t need the knowledge or great philosophical concepts. you don’t need the acceptance of others. you express your own divinity by being alive and by loving yourself and others.
by doing your best, the habits of mususing your word, taking things personally and making assumptions will become weaker and less frequent with time. if you’re doing your best, you will feel good about yourself even if you still make assumptions, still take things personally, and still are not impeccable with your word.
if you do your best over and over again, you will become the master of transformation. practice makes the master. if you do your best in serarch for personal freedom, in the search fo rself-love, you will discover that it’s just a matter of time before you find what you are looking for. you have to stand up and be a human. you have to honor the man or woman that you are. respect your body, enjoy your body, love your body, feed, clean and heal your body. exercise and do what makes your body feel good. you don’t need to worship idols of the Virgin Mary, the Christ or the Buddha. you can if you want to; if it feels good, do it. your own body is a manifestation of God, and if you honor your body, everything ywill change for you. when you practice giving love to every part of your body, you plant seeds of love in your mind and when they grow, you will love, honor, and respect your body immensely.
do not be concerned about the future; eep your attention on today, and stay in the present moment. just live one day at a time. always do your best to keep these agreements and soon it will be easy for you. today is the beginning of a new dream.
you cannot expect to break the domestication in one day. breaking current limiting agreements is very difficult because we put the power of the word (which is the power of our will) into every agreement we have made. therefore, to adopt the Four Agreements, you need to put repetition in action. practicing new agreements in your life is how your best becomes better.
we have a dysfunctional dream of the planet and humans are mentally sick with a disease called fear. the symptoms of fear are all the emotions that make humans suffer: anger, hate, sadness, envy, and betrayal. forgiveness is the only way to heal. forgiving our parents, our siblings, our friends, our lovers, and God. once you forgive God, you can finally forgive yourself. the self-rejection in your mind is over. self-acceptance begins & self-love takes over. you will know when you have forgiven someone when you see them and no longer have an emotional reaction. you will hear the person’s name and not have an emotional reaction. when someone touches what used to be a wound & it no longer hurts you, then you know you have truly forgiven.
emotions control the behaviour of humans. when we lose control, we say things that we don’t want to say and do things we don’t want to do. that is why it is so important to be impeccable with our word, to control the emotiosn so we have enough personal power to change our fear-based agreements, escape from hell and create our own personal heaven.
embrace the angel of death. to be completely open, to know there is nothing to be afraid of. and to treat the people you love with love because this may be their last day that you can tell them how much you love them. don’t fight since you aren’t sure of the future. the angel of death teaches us to be truly alive. being aware that anybody can die at any moment; we just have the present to be alive.
life can be very easy when love is your way of life. when you see love coming out of the trees, the sky, the light, from everything around you including yourself and other humans who may be sad or angry, you can live in the state of bliss. you will know that heaven on earth is truth – that heaven truly exists. you may not have a reason to love, but you can love because to love makes you so happy. love in action only produces happiness. love will give you inner peace. it will change your perception of everything. you can see everythin gwith the eyes of love and be aware that there is love all around you. happiness is the lost paradise humans have worked so hard to reach. this way of life is possible. Mses called it the Promised Land, Buddha called it Nirvana, Jesus called it Heaven and the Toltecs call it a New Dream. happiness and suffering is a choice. the only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. the only reason you choose suffering because it makes you feel safe. we can either suffer our destiny or enjoy our destiny. to suffer, or to love and be happy.